November 10, 2014

The Abuser's Favorite

Child molesters groom their victims before touching them. The children often enjoy the extra attention from an adult, so the children may develop a special bond with their abusers. They begin to care for the pedophile despite the abuse.

The special bond may continue for years. The pedophile has a faithful, if not terrified, victim. The favorite child will lie about the abuse whether out of fear or loyalty. Some grow up and defend their abusers. They'll play the obedient part and praise the abuser.

The adult favorites will sacrifice other relationships to maintain loyalty to their abusers. Some willingly expose their children to the beloved abuser, and their children sometimes become the next victims. The adult children may even put the relationship with the abuser above other close relationships.

The adult favorites stunt their personal growth because of the unhealthy relationships. They put others at risk. Somehow, they need to realize that they are missing out on so many of life's blessings. They can continue loving their abuser, but create boundaries. The favorite can break the cycle and encourage their abusers to repent.

This is not an easy journey to take alone, so the favorites will need help from God and others. It may take years to erase the unhealthy conditioning and establish healthy relationships with others, but the pain and healing will eventually bring happiness.