May 27, 2014

True Love

I woke up in a dreamy haze this morning. I was back in high school and I just wanted some guy to like me. Couldn't he just kiss me and hold me? I yearned for him to love me.

In high school, I wondered if anyone truly loved me. I thought that if I had a boyfriend then that would prove that someone loved me. I knew in my brain that having a boyfriend that young would only complicate my life. I was ill-prepared (and so would any teenage boy be) to handle a relationship.

In all my yearning, I overlooked those who did love me. My parents and my siblings loved me. My Heavenly Father loved me more than any mortal could. My friends loved me, including my guy friends. Other adults and adolescents loved me in my community. I was loved. And I needed to love myself. I forgot that I needed to show others the same love sometimes.

When I did find my true love, my husband, I was old enough to handle a relationship and marriage. (I'm not sure we're ever mature enough to handle relationships.) I know now that true love takes a lot of work. Love involves sacrifice, forgiveness, maintaining a household and so much more. It's more than someone hugging and kissing me--though that is nice sometimes.

Ultimately, true love stems from God. He has taught us how to love and to accept love graciously. We need to open our arms to him in order to feel his love more fully.

May 20, 2014

Humorous Poem


The aliphatic azaleas and arnicas swayed in the wind
As the avaricious anopheles mosquitoes spinned
While searching for aphelion and astrogators beneath the flowers.
The accelerometer (run by abaci) was at its apex of agog powers.

The annular anopheles airdrome availed in Alsace-Lorraine
When Azimuth Axial Avast the farmer came hobbling on his cane
Aimed ready to spray Aquanaut on those stupid mosquitoes.
Their state quickly abdicated to that of an abattoir of woes.

One apoplectic mosquito was actuating his descent.
Despite his agnosticism, he prayed with fervent ardor to dent
The heavens above when an amateurish anopheles police chief
Saved the apoplectic one that confirmed his new-found belief.

My junior year, I joined the writing club. At one meeting, the leader challenged us to use as many words possible from some words she selected from the dictionary. I used all the words, even though some may not be used correctly. Nevertheless, it was enjoyable.

Minecraft Horrors

I recently started playing Minecraft since my sons and my husband play it. I'm still not too enthused about it.

Yesterday I set my house on fire and I used water to douse the flames. Well, I didn't know how to get rid of the water. I looked up stuff online about using sand and scooping the water source block. So I tried a bucket, but I had no idea where the water source block was.

I asked my husband over chat how to get rid of the water. He said to use sand. So I spent half an hour using sand to get rid of all the water. Then I had to destroy the sand and rebuild my house. I had spent time on that house and I did not appreciate having to rebuild parts of it.

Tonight I described more of what happened with my husband told me how to find the water source block. I thought the water source block would be somewhere in the bottom. I'm not sure if I'd still be able to find the water source block now.

It's fun to waste time like that ;).

May 19, 2014

How do abusers instill fear?

Some children and adults are paralyzed emotionally because of their past or present abusers. How do abusers instill such debilitating fear? They may use some or all of these tactics.

1. Threaten physical harm. Victims know that if they cross the line, their abusers will lash out physically at them. They've seen it happen to others.

2. Threaten others with physical harm. Sometimes victims aren't afraid of getting hurt personally, but they are afraid that someone else might get hurt.

3. Criticize victims to make them feel worthless, or convincing the victims that no one loves them or cares about them.

4. Isolate their victims.

5. Withhold praise and affection. Abusers will give the "silent treatment" or refuse to praise, hug or cuddle. Children are especially susceptible to this.

6. Destroy treasured items. They know that victims will think twice about crossing them if the victims want to keep anything special.

7. Play upon their victims' fears.

8. Use intimidation. Abusers may stalk their victims, but not cross any legal lines. They don't want to get caught, but they still want to psychologically threaten their victim with their presence. Sometimes, they only have to show their face or leave a subtle message on the phone.

There are countless ways abusers instill fear in their victims. Victims need to realize how their abusers are manipulating them so they can overcome the fear.

Why do Abusers instill fear? They do not want to be caught. They do not want to face the legal and social consequences of their actions. They enjoy control. For this reason, abusers manipulate their families to act perfect in public so no one will suspect the abuse.

If you have further insight, please leave a comment.

Signs of Sexual Abuse in Children--Graphic Content

The signs of sexual abuse are sometimes tricky to evaluate. Infants and toddlers cannot speak for themselves. Older children and teenagers won't talk out of fear. There are general signs of abuse and signs that are more specific to sexual abuse.

1. The child knows more than what is appropriate for their age about sex and acts out sexually beyond what is normal for their age.

2. The child is behind developmentally or regresses, such as bed-wetting, delayed speech, etc.

3. The child shows fear of a certain place, object, or person.

4. The child harms his or herself.

5. The child has lost interest in activities, friends, etc.

6. The child has pain urinating and defecating. The child is bleeding in the pubic area.

If you notice these symptoms and your gut tells you something is wrong, seek help. Sexual abuse will inhibit a child's growth for the rest of his or her life. The victim may go on to abuse others, not be able to bear children, have significant health problems, suffer from PTSD and depression, develop an eating disorder, self-mutilate, or commit suicide. This is too serious of a problem to idly stand by.

If you suspect you have been abused but don't know it (because your brain blocked the memory), seek help.

This link has more detail about signs of sexual abuse and types of sexual abuse. This link discusses infant sexual abuse.

What Is Sexual Abuse?--Graphic Content

Sexual abuse has several forms. Even if children or special needs people are "willing," it is sexual abuse because they haven't matured yet.

1. Forcibly touching another person's body using hands and any other part of the body. It's sexual abuse when someone forcibly touches another's butt, crotch, inner thighs, and female chest. This includes intercourse, fondling, oral and anal sex.

2. Forcibly kissing someone.

3. Forcing someone to view sex, masturbation, and sexually explicit material (yes, pornography).

4. Forcing someone to engage in sexual activity with any object or animal. (Includes forcing someone into prostitution.)

5. Taking pictures, videos, and recordings of the naked body and any sexual acts.

6. Obscene conversations over the phone, chatting, in person, or in any other form of communication.

7. Anything else sexual in nature that damages a person emotionally, spiritually, or physically.

A sexual abuser strives to hide evidence of sexual abuse in many ways. The abuser threatens harm or any number of things. A sexual abuser sometimes even appears to be a model citizen.

Get help if you or someone you know has been sexually abused! Unfortunately, you can't always do something because you have a feeling it's happening, but you don't have evidence. I know this feeling well and I wish I could do more. For now, I just try to bring awareness.

I have also written a post on possible signs of a pedophile here.

This link has more detail about signs of sexual abuse and types of sexual abuse.

May 17, 2014

Reasons to Stay Together in a Marriage

Heavenly Father weeps when two good people separate or divorce. He weeps seeing selfishness enter on either side. He weeps when lies and silence tear apart a family.

Husbands and wives create so many reasons to separate and divorce, but that energy would be better spent finding reasons to stay together. Here's my list:

1. You don't have to go back into the meat market of dating. (Believe me, that sobers me.)

2. You have a companion to help you through hard times.

3. You have a partner to raise your children.

4. You are in a better financial position.

5. You have someone who understands you even more than your mother.

6. You have someone who wants to forgive you (eventually).

7. You have a person to hug and kiss anytime.

8. You have someone who loves you despite your flaws.

Heavenly Fathers smiles when a husband and wife put aside their differences and work on loving each other. He knows that this brings so much more happiness.

Naturally, there are exceptions to the cases of divorce and separation. But the exceptions are few and far between. So often selfishness blinds us to seeing situations as they really are.

Hating the Opposite Sex

Marriages and relationships fall apart because females hate males, or males hate females. Why should there be enmity between males and females? The devil loves to create divisions along the lines of male versus female. That has been one of his tools since the beginning of time. Enmity between the sexes frustrates the plan of God for marriage and stable families.

A woman hates men because she had a bad relationship, but that doesn't mean all men are bad. A man hates women because he had a bad relationship, but that doesn't mean all women are bad. An apple tree will have good and bad apples. Just because you ate the bad apple, doesn't mean that you still can't find a good apple.

That "bad" apple may not be bad at all. It may just be your perception. Most people are not all bad. We look for the negative instead of the positive in the opposite sex. There will always be something to not like about someone. Look at Jesus--so many people still hated him and he was perfect. Ironically, sometimes the best people are most hated because they speak the truth.

So rethink when you man-bash or woman-bash. You are serving the devil. We all fall into the trap and we can do better.

May 16, 2014

Clean Entertainment

I've read Regency Romance novels for several years without coming across one that is erotic in any nature (probably because they're from moral authors). Well, I stopped reading one today. I got third-way through the book without anything beyond kissing. Now I'm just upset because I was hoping it wouldn't be like that. I still want to finish the book because I'm invested in the story.

I stopped reading it anyway. But the devil sure makes certain entertainment enticing. We all have sexual desires that are so easy to stimulate. It's just so tempting to give into viewing, listening, or reading erotica, explicit jokes, and pornography. Good thing God allows for repentance since most of us have fallen into this trap.

Sexual desires are God-given, so that humans procreate and men and women can express love toward one another. Those desires are meant to only be used within the bonds of marriage. God has a purpose for marriage--so that the family is stable. Anything stimulating those desires outside of marriage is inappropriate.

We are all human and trying our best to make it through this life. Choosing wholesome entertainment helps our lives go smoother.

The Lord's Standard of Morality

Some find this article controversial because the author stated that women usually get the kind of man they dress for. Some women were upset about this article because they felt that it excused men from being responsible for their thoughts and actions. The author states later that men and women have a responsibility to control their own thoughts. We women show respect for ourselves and for all men when we dress modestly. Women who dressed modestly and still ended up with a jerk are upset about this comment too. Unfortunately, these women are the exception, which the author can't address every exception. The Lord has compassion on these women--and all men and women.

May 11, 2014

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all you women out there. God loves you so much whether you are a mother, aunt, and daughter. I especially want to wish my sisters and sisters-in-law, who live from the West Coast to the East Coast, a Happy Mother's Day. I miss some of you very much and wish I could visit you all.

My son wrote me a fill-in-the-blank card at school. The blanks are in italics and my thoughts are in parentheses. I read it and I had a good laugh. When he starts surfing the internet more, I'll have to take this post down.

My Special Mother

My mom is the most wonderful mom in the whole world. My mom has a pretty smile. I like to make her smile by helping her. She can do many things. I think she's best at cooking. My mom is as pretty as an animal. My mother is 5f8" feet tall (5'4"). She weighs 145 lbs (someday). My mom's favorite food is makeroni and cheese (that's his favorite). Her favorite color is red (any color really). All day long my mother does her work (I keep him off the computer when I'm writing). My favorite thing to do with my mom is help her. My mother is happy when I don't hit my brother. I wouldn't trade my mom for candy.

May 09, 2014

Weird Dreams

Do you ever have weird dreams? My mom had a dream when I was a teenager that she took a plane flight. She realized she couldn't find me. After the plane landed, she found me in her luggage.

During the last presidential election, I had a dream that the first lady told me that I wasn't wearing nice enough clothes. I woke up screaming and so angry. It was none of her business how I dressed or wore make-up. I remembered that it was just a dream.

What kind of dreams do you have?

May 07, 2014

Gold Rush

I've been watching two Discovery Channel shows, Gold Rush and Jungle Gold. It's quite interesting to see people look for gold instead of looking for a job...or retraining.

These people go into debt to find gold. Most of the time they lose money or break even. Some lose their life savings. In Jungle Gold, they leave $300,000 more in debt. This is what I'd call fool's gold.

Jungle Gold takes place in Ghana and Utah. Victor from Ghana helps two Utahns search for gold. He says these two fall for "sweet words." So many people overestimate the amount of gold on their land. Sometimes they lie or fool themselves. These people show gold, but that doesn't mean it came from their land.

I believe God only blesses those who truly need to find gold in order to feed their families. The Ghana natives found more gold because they were feeding their villages. They weren't seeking a quick profit. The Ghana people had fewer choices to earn money than Americans do.

We are blessed in some countries to have so much. In fact, we are blinded by how much we have. We think we need a TV and a large house to survive. There's nothing wrong with renting a three bedroom apartment or home. If you are in debt so much, it's time to sell some things, retrain for a higher paying position, get any job...even if it's minimum wage. The Utahns said that it would take them 30 years to get out of debt working a normal job. While chasing for gold, they dug themselves deeper into debt than before. They would have made more money handing out hamburgers at McDonald's (as long as they curbed their spending).

So instead of chasing for gold or the next get-rich-quick scheme, sell what you don't need, find a job, ask for assistance, and live within your means (not that I'm the perfect example).

May 05, 2014

Freelance Work for Stay-at-Home-Parents

I've found oDesk to be a good freelancing site. This is a good resource for parents who need to work some while still staying at home with their children. I take frequent breaks with my kids while doing this part time.

You can do secretarial work, data entry, transcribing, writing emails, and areas of expertise. You don't have to be an expert for some of the freelance jobs. Of course, it helps to have a degree and experience. Beware of some jobs. Some college students will pay you to do their papers. Some people pay you to make comments about their products on other people's blogs--unethical, but not illegal. Some employers bid really low because of a limited budget and freelancers from other countries don't need as high of wages as the U.S. That works.

Some experience does not have to be official work experience. Think of all the volunteer work you do at church, a shelter, your child's school or wherever. Being a parent and running a household is experience. If you deal with certain illnesses, you are an expert in that area. Do you know a second language? Almost anything counts as experience. Have someone who knows how to write a resume well help you.

I started part-time freelance writing a month ago. I've written some articles for Single Parents Survival Guide. The site won't officially launch for about another week. My articles will include co-parenting relationships, co-parenting discipline, healing from an abusive relationship, child custody etiquette, and what to do if the other parent is abusive. Probably not all of this articles will appear on the site, but we will see. I'm excited about it :).

I'm also ghostwriting, but that's hush-hush. I'll be writing some novellas. I am currently working on the first one.