April 04, 2014

Rescue Me: Escaping Abuse

Biggest Loser contestant Tanya Winfield had wanted someone to save her as a child from her abusive mother. Over the course of her weight loss, she realized that she had to save herself. Escaping abuse begins with the victim.

Abusers don't let their victims go easily--mentally or physically. Abusers instill fear. As the victim, you need to conquer that fear with faith. You need courage to tell others, and to escape. Escaping takes planning, effort, timing and praying.

Your first ally is Heavenly Father. He knows what's going on. Pray to him to help you find an opportunity to leave an abusive situation. Heavenly Father will guide you to others that can help you. He will present opportunities at certain places and times.

If you are a parent or guardian, you have a responsibility toward your children to prevent child abuse. You may think that if only you or only one child is abused that your children have escaped the effects of abuse. That isn't true. (1) You cannot guarantee that the abuser won't change his or her target. (2) An abusive home breaks a person's spirit because the abuser instills fear. (3) The abuser's actions invite evil spirits. (4) Staying in an abusive situation teaches children that it's okay to hurt others emotionally, physically or sexually. A son or daughter learns it's acceptable to ridicule the opposite sex.

Others can help you escape. In some cases, it's best to plan a quiet escape. Other times, it isn't. You may need to fight or use a weapon to escape. This is in self defense. Even if your abuser has a weapon, you're more likely to live if you run away. Any consequent wound usually won't kill you.

If you are a child or teenager, tell a reliable adult, call 911, fight or use a weapon, whatever it takes to escape. It can be more difficult to escape since you have fewer legal rights, less strength, and often need to rely on adults. Sometimes, your escape may only be spiritual.

There will be negative and positive consequences to any escape. The abuser defames your character. He or she claims you have lied or you have lost your sanity. Friends and family may ignore you. The abuser may physically hurt you, stalk you, sue you, and so on.

The abuser fights any legal charges. Sometimes there isn't enough evidence to convict or the abuser's lawyer finds a loophole. Abusers threaten legal action for defamation of character. In the case of marriage, abusive spouses fight for custody of the children. Seek legal help. Truly, the law should be on your side, but that isn't always the case. The truth will set you free. However, sometimes the truth only sets you free spiritually, mentally and emotionally.

The positive aspect is that you will regain your confidence, freedom and life. The healing process begins.

The spiritual escape follows the physical escape. Your spirit needs healing. You need to root out the fear instilled in you. You need to go through the grieving process of losing your hope, confidence, and a relationship. Counselors, religious leaders, and friends can help you during your spiritual escape. However, Jesus Christ is the only one who can wholly heal you. He suffered the abuse you felt. He understands your pain better than anyone else.

See these websites for more practical information:
Women: www.womenslaw.org http://www.aish.com/ci/s/My_Escape_from_Child_Abuse.html
Men: www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic-violence-men-abused-by-women.htm
Child Abuse:
 http://www.helpguide.org/mental/child_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm