My Gratitude and Ingratitude for COVID-19

Via Public Domain Photos

Among Latter-day Saints, some share this idea that trials are a blessing. A group of women I associate with repurposed this idea: the growth from trials is a blessing. In this paradigm, I share what positives I see with our growth during the worldwide trial.

1. We realize how meaningful physical affection and gathering together is. Thus, we look forward to when we have greater opportunities to gather.
2. We appreciate technology more. Technology has kept many working, connected, and learning.
3. Businesses and organizations recognize that more jobs can be done from home. Work from home options create greater flexibility for childcare and home locations. We have less pollution thanks to working from home.
4. We appreciate the efficiency of gathering at the workplace.
5. Many united in a worldwide fast to alleviate the effects of COVID-19.
6. We connect virtually more with those who live far away. For example, my siblings, parents, and I have weekly Zoom gatherings. My husband’s family does too.
7. We have serious discussions about the meaning of liberty.
8. We appreciate simplicity more.
9. Schooling has become more flexible with online options.
10. We recognize the need to be healthy.
11. We now express our creativity with masks.

Naturally, there have been negatives with COVID-19. Here are some negatives I have observed:

1. Bats. I hate bats who spread their cold to humans. Bats need to practice social distancing and wear masks.
2. Sadly, many have suffered ill effects or death because of this disease.
3. Many have succumbed to fear during this time. Some have forgotten to hope.
4. Domestic violence has increased.
5. Murders have increased.
6. Anxiety and depression have increased. This has led to an increase in suicides and suicidality.
7. Many lost their jobs during extended quarantines or lockdowns.
8. Some politicians have leveraged the situation to infringe on their citizens’ rights beyond temporary emergency powers. Also, some preventive measures have been unequally applied.
9. Some have engaged in blaming, shaming, namecalling, and passive-aggression. We can discuss without ad hominem attacks.
10. Where incivility in our arguments occurs, enmity sometimes festers.

Instead of letting these negatives bring us down, we can seek growth from them. First, we can recognize the values of physical life and quality of life. Second, we can learn to be kinder and more patient during disagreements. And finally, we can address joblessness and mental health challenges. Overall, we can increase our resilience during this worldwide pandemic.

How has the worldwide pandemic helped you grow? What negatives do you see that we can overcome?

My Mourning Prayer on 9/11

Via Public Domain Photos

I remember my paternal grandmother on her birthday, 9/11, each year. She died six years before the 9/11 terrorist attack. My father thinks she would have been very upset knowing her birthday was on such a sad day. This year she would have turned 115. My maternal grandmother passed away last week at 90 years old. She witnessed almost a century of history — 89 elevenths of September. I remember 19 elevenths of September since 2001.

In August 2001, I started my freshman year at the junior college in my hometown. I lived at home and my parents drove me to campus. I stayed for classes and walked home afterward. About three weeks into my freshman year, the world changed.

Around 7:30 am MDT, my mom drove me to school in a red Ford Taurus when we heard the news on the radio of an attack. Something had happened, but I didn’t catch all of it. I attended my freshman writing course and the professor mentioned nothing about the news. Two days later, he apologized for not addressing the terrorist attacks, explaining he hadn’t yet heard the news that morning.

At home, I watched the news for many hours as I digested the information of attacks on the Twin Towers, Pentagon, and Flight 93. The image of the planes crashing into the Twin Towers seared into my memory.

On September 13, 2001, I wrote this in my journal:

It has only been two days since 9/11. Someone is laughing at their cruel joke I suppose. That of course, was the day when idiots hijacked four planes. The World Trade Center collapsing. Pentagon. There will be many words said and written about this terrorist attack. And I will say a few of them. So many lives have been affected (besides the thousands that are dead). Now they say New Yorkers are [more] considerate. They changed. Did it have to take that much to change people? I hope it is a permanent one. Petty stuff doesn’t matter.

I worked on a poem after the terrorist attacks. It seemed the best way for me to sort out the chaos I felt. Hopefully, it helps others sort out their chaotic feelings too when they read it.

My Mourning Prayer on 9/11

I don’t recall my morning prayer.
Did I pray for world peace?
The terrorists were seated by then,
Maybe had control.
How was the world to know?
News flashed past my ears.
Later, I understood the enormity;
Then I mourned.
Such evil! Such travesty!

The walls came tumbling down…
In more than one way.
Petty differences set aside
Now in each other, we confide.
As I lay me down,
Oh God,
I pray
May this longer last
And not fade in the past.

After 9/11, I felt a change in our country. We became kinder and more patriotic. People donated blood to help those in New York City and the Washington DC area. We donated money (some got stuck in charitable bureaucracies). Some negative things happened too. We had to navigate our negative feelings about Islam and Middle Easterners. We gave up some of our freedoms in exchange for safety. And wars lasted beyond their objective.

For these 19 years, some have speculated how we could have stopped the 9/11 terrorist attacks. I witnessed one solution when I toured the Shanghai Art Museum with fellow volunteer teachers in 2004. We gasped when we saw 9/11 footage playing on a stairway wall. The planes flew toward the World Trade Center, but then the planes bounced off the Twin Towers. I read the description for the video: The artist portrayed his little girl’s idea of planes bouncing off buildings. That was her solution to stop 9/11.

So may we have planes and buildings that bounce off each other. And may we have the resilience and courage to bounce back from defeat.

My Moonbeam Spills on Your Face

As a teenager, I often gazed at the moon and stars through my bedroom window. God’s creations bore witness of his love for me. I contemplated how I could personify this message in poetry.

I wrote my first draft entitled “I spill a moonbeam” during my high school freshman or sophomore year. The words came as a song. Whenever I shared this poem, I sang it. I sang this poem to a friend during a sleepover. She complimented my singing voice, which I had never considered as beautiful, just off-key.

My first draft reads thus:

I spill a moonbeam
Across your face
While you do dream
Of a heavn’ly place.

I stream in sunshine
Through your window,
And yet you whine
Of my sun’s glow.

I whisper to you,
“I love you so!
I really do.”
Yet you don’t know.

I weep from above.
I groan within:
“Remember my love!
Let yourself grin.”

Again my moonbeam
Shines on your face
While you do dream
Of a heavn’ly place.

I showed this poem to another friend. She noted that the “do” felt repetitive. She wondered why people added “did” and “do” to poetry. I figured the “do” belonged in the first stanza because it kept the rhythm. I didn’t remove it.

A few years ago, I compiled a nature booklet that I hoped to sell on Amazon. I asked a retired English teacher from my hometown to look it over. She suggested removing the “do.” Here are her suggestions:

Screenshot by Author

I finally gave up the “do” for the next beta reader. Here are her suggestions:

Screenshot by Author

This revision still lacked the poignancy I wanted, so my mind percolated on how to improve the poem for the last few years. Last month, I finally wrote a revision late at night.

Here was my revision process:

Photo by Author

Photo by Author

Without further ado, here is the final revision of my poem:

My moonbeam shines on your face
While dreams vanish without trace

My sunbeam streams through your window
You toss, turn, and hide under a pillow

My breeze stirs your hair
While you kneel in prayer

My raindrops fall on your head
My tears, your fears soon shed

My moonbeam shines on your face
Day to day, you grow grace to grace