October 28, 2014

Scare Tactics

"Scared" by Capture Queen
"Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest."  Joshua 1:9

Lately, I've learned about the scare tactics abusers employ, usually through passive aggression. But no one has to be a victim of those scare tactics. When no one is afraid of an abuser, he or she loses much of his power. It helps to recognize these scare tactics.

1. Gifts. Yes, gifts are scare tactics. Abusers use gifts as a form of blackmail or tit-for-tat. They give you something and they expect silence and cooperation in return. You may not even recognize their "charity" as hush money. They also give gifts out of guilt.

2. Threats. These can be anything from death threats to much smaller things. Abusers threaten lawsuits, protective orders, hurting someone, or revealing someone's secrets, and so on. These threats are meant to keep people quiet or to lie.

3. False Accusations. When someone defies an abuser, the abuser will throw false accusations and frame others for their crimes. Abusers trump up false charges, file bogus protective orders, and sue for defamation of character. They also spread gossip to family, neighbors, communities, and the media. The abuser plays the victim.

4. Coach victims and witnesses. Abusers coach children to blame an innocent person. Children want to please adults, so some will repeat these things. (Always take what a child says seriously and find out the truth.)

5. Cause confusion. Abusers obscure the truth by accusing or framing others.

6. Discredit others. Abusers discredit victims, witnesses, and whistle blowers. A common tactic is to claim that the person is mentally unstable. (Mind you, most victims suffer from PTSD.) Or abusers reveal a person's sins. They may claim the person is possessed by devils. The types of attacks are endless.

Now you can be prepared for some of the typical scare tactics abusers use. You may not be able to avoid false accusations and being discredited, but stay true to yourself and God. God's opinion is the only one that counts in the end. Others who seek the truth will find it. Overall, stay calm so you don't play into their passive aggressive tendencies.