Hope in Adversity

I recently read The Gift of Angels by Rachel Nunes. Angela, the main character, suffers from pancreatic cancer and struggles to accept her diagnosis. She studies the story of Lot and his wife in the Bible. Lot's wife turned into a pillar of salt when she looked back at Sodom. Angela realizes she needs to look to the present and make it the best she can.

In Doctrine and Covenants 122:7, the Lord states to Joseph Smith while he is in jail: "... if fierce winds become thine enemy; if the heavens gather blackness, and all the elements combine to hedge up the way; and above all, if the very jaws of hell shall gape open the mouth wide after thee, know thou, my son, that all these things shall give thee experience, and shall be for thy good."

Experience is related to the word try; and good may be related to Sanskrit gadhya which means to seize (booty).

We are tried during fierce winds. What do you seize to so you can survive the winds? Something good, like God.

Each of us experience adversity. Heavenly Father sent us to Earth to be tested, so we can grow. Heavenly Father sent his Son on Earth to experience mortal suffering too. Through Jesus' Atonement, we can receive comfort.

Thoughts on Glimmer of Hope by Sarah M. Eden

I recently read Glimmer of Hope by Eden and felt it had a worthwhile tale to summarize. Beware, it will be a SPOILER ALERT. But I just have to share.

This takes place in England during the early 1800s. The couple married without the husband's parents ever meeting the wife. The couple enjoyed each other's company and then he left for a session of Parliament in London. The father convinced his son to leave his new wife at home because she wasn't ready to be a political hostess yet. The wife was disappointed when she didn't get to go to London.

After a three year separation, they meet by accident at one of their estates. It's a house party so they have to pretend to get along in front of others. They both thought each other had abandoned the other spouse. The husband's mother is there and exacts her daughter-in-law to play hostess beyond her physical ability. The couple slowly grows closer. After the wife collapses, he discovers she has a heart ailment. The wife's grandfather asks why he never responded to all her letters. The husband then discovers that his late father and mother had withheld all his wife's letters. The parents knew she hadn't left him--she physically couldn't return--but they assumed the wife would ruin their son's political career. The parents feared he would return to his wife.

The couple works through their misunderstandings. The wife tells her husband not to have regret, but enjoy the present and look to the future. The husband admits that if had he known all this, his parents' influence would have affected his decisions to a certain extent, but not kept him away as much.

Parents usually positively influence their children, but a few parents do not have their child's best interest in mind. Children need to know their parent's intentions, and not let them manipulate them in anyway. This is just so critical concerning marriages. There are running jokes about in-laws, which occasionally has truth to it. The relationship with the spouse takes precedence over parents.

"What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder" Matthew 19:6

Spiritual Health Affects Mental Health

I find that reading my scriptures and praying daily improves my mood considerably. Attending church, following the commandments, and serving others helps too.

I've seen people who are depressed because of sin and addiction. Repentance and spiritual health will lift the spiritual depression.

We all have some form of pain. Some have PTSD from abuse, war, death, etc and depression along with it. Jesus can help ease our suffering. He experienced every pain and illness in Gethsamane and on the cross. We are not alone in our pain. Sometimes even miracles happen in many sizes, like a neighbor calling.

The Basic Recipe for Sanity

My MTC mission companion commented that she needed reminding to take care of herself. That's so true. She mentioned several things in her comment. When I keep up with daily basics for my physical health, I manage much better.

Physical do's: sleep enough, eat healthy, and exercise.

I like to read, or watch TV late into the night. It messes up my rhythm and my family's when I do that. I need to go to bed by at least ten to do well the next day since having a schedule. My brain races for 30-60 minutes after I crawl into bed sometimes, even though I take sleeping pills. I have to avoid caffeine and chocolate in the evening too. I have a poster in the kitchen listing why I should go to bed by 9:30: more energy, have no regrets (like yelling at my kids), happier countenance, become ill less often, enjoy children more, and accomplish more.

Before kids and when I didn't have early classes or work, I could go to bed and sleep in and still function well as long as I slept eight or more hours. So when you go to bed doesn't have to always be early.

I know eating healthy will make a difference. I'm not always on top of that. Really, I need to do so to lose weight and have more energy. Sometimes I try to focus on getting my veggies in. Betsy Schow's book, Finished Being Fat, talks about focusing on goals that you can control, such as eating enough veggies.

My psychiatrist says that exercise is like a magic pill for mental health. She also said exercise does wake your body, so you should leave a two hour window afterward before going to sleep. I exercise off and on. I have found that having stairs in my house helps me even when I don't actively exercise.

Anyone can do exercise. I know injury, weight, etc, limits types of exercise, but it isn't an excuse. I see people with injuries on Biggest Loser, who swim or use the elliptical if they have a bad knee or bad back. Moses, on one season, just shadowboxed sitting down and he lost one hundred pounds. I would suggest getting advice from someone or online to accommodate your body.

You don't need a gym membership either to exercise. Just moving in any fashion at home, work, or wherever makes a difference.

Now I better do as I say :)

How to maximize your counseling experience

I found these ideas help me during and after a counseling session:

Take a pen and paper to take notes

Be willing to interrupt if your counselor gets off topic, or you have a more pressing matter to discuss

You can accept or reject advice according to your needs

Tell the whole story, but as briefly as you can

Be honest

Work on what your counselor asks you to do after you leave

5 Considerations to Choosing a Counselor

"Listening Ear" by Vera Kratochvil

Choosing a counselor is an important step to actively treating mental health. They are professionals who provide a listening ear and have expert advice to guide you to better mental health.

The Right Type of Counselor

First, choose a counselor that fits the type of help you need--marriage, addiction, adolescent, etc. Therapists may be general therapists, but most concentrate on specific areas. Specialist therapists have more experience and can better guide you for the specific problem you are facing.

Be Challenged

Second, a counselor should challenge you to improve. Some counselors will merely coddle you to stay in your rut. What good does it do if you keep repeating the same mistake? This doesn't lead to happiness--only complacency and depression. Also, a good counselor understands he or she does not always have the full picture, only your point of view of anything you share.

Respects Your Beliefs

Third, choose a counselor who respects your belief system. The counselor doesn't have to believe as you do in order to help you within your belief system, just respect it. A counselor is wise to challenge unhealthy cultural patterns related to a belief system. For example, in my belief system there is a cultural tendency toward perfectionism, but the actual religion does not endorse beating myself up over mistakes.

Finances

Fourth, consider your finances. It will affect who you can choose or the number of sessions. If you are limited to a certain counselor, apply what you can. Some organizations and churches offer free counseling or help pay for sessions. Many counselors consider payment plans or reduce rates if you pay upfront. If you can't afford that, I suggest free groups to attend, such as Recovery Inc or NAMI. Create a support network of family and friends. Mental Health Matters lists other ideas for resources in this article.

Use Spiritual Guidance

Heavenly Father wants help you through the challenges of life. He has given us others, such as counselors, to help us along the way. Pray for his guidance as you choose a counselor who best fits your needs. After all, God is the wisest counselor of all. His Son has experienced our suffering and can ease our burdens. We are not alone.

(See Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's talk for more about religion and mental illness.)


Is there any other considerations to choosing a counselor that you might add?

Act and don't be acted upon

My sister and I talked this morning about taking control for our own lives despite being a victim. Everyone has been a victim at some time, whether it be from a horrific or minor situation, but we can't remain a victim.

My mom talks frequently about a roadshow youth activity she had as a teenager. She learned to act instead of being acted upon.

I look at my mental illness and I try to remember to act, instead of being acted upon, by caring for my body, spirit, and mind to prevent episodes. When I keep up with this, I have fewer problems.

See 2 Nephi 2:26.